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Bad Nurse?

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AnnC View Drop Down
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Joined: 18 May 2013
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    Posted: 18 May 2013 at 12:25
Hi guys
I could really do with some advice right now, but not sure how many people are actually around on here and if I will get a reply.

Six months ago, I was working on the district, I had been on the district for about three and a half years and had been put into a team where I was really unhappy and desperate to get out of, but though I'd tried for every district job possible I hadn't got the job so was looking at nursing home work if I left.

Anyway I'd been through a partciuarly bad few days with the team which had been playing on my mind and that led me to not focusing on my work and made a series of errors, missing visits for insulin patients over a weekend.

Fortunately no harm came to the patients, though I fully appreciate that the potential was there and I was totally mortified that I had made these mistakes.  

There was of course a disciplinary investigation which was truly horrible and shameful to go through.  

The process just dragged on and on with so much talk of how bad I was as a nurse that in the end I just couldn't cope with the thought of returning to the team on limited duties and there was no option of transfering to another area in the trust so I left.

I've had six months of good practice in a NH, dealing with a number of cardiac arrests and other challenges without doing anything wrong [thank god].

Having restored my confidence and self worth as a nurse I recently applied to another trust and was offered provisionally a post back on the district.  

I wanted to declare my past but felt sure it would be a barrier to being taken on, so haven't done so far.

However it now looks like I might have to go back to my old trust for reference as I put in my notice to the NH citing an issue with drug management as my reasons for leaving.  

The way drug administration was being undertaken was outside the NMC medication guidelines and in contravention with care standards.  

Whilst I had informally discussed it with the manager several times, she said there was nothing she could do.  I felt this was dangerous practice and wanted to put the matter into writing to show I had tried to address it with the manager.  

As the offer of a this new job came up at the same time, I cited the drug issue as the reason for my leaving.  The manager took exception to this and whilst not saying out right she won't give reference, three copies of the refeence request have gone astray!!   

Whilst I am utterly ahsmaed of my errors and wish with all my heart I could in some way put right the wrongs I did, the fact remains I can't.  All I can do is learn from it which I have done.   

If I'm ever to get back to being on the district [or even in the NHS] which is where I love being, at some point I need to put the past behind me and move on.  To be honest I thought that this is what I'd done in the last six months.  

I am now unemployed [1 week]and worried sick I am going to loose this fantastic opportunity which I thought would never come my way again.

I just don't know what to do, so thoguht I'd ask a few other nurses for their advice.   

Please don't think of me as a bad nurse who deserves everything she gets as I truly do care very much about my patients and have worked really hard managing complex situations very well with little or no professional guidance before and after these errors.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JFN Admin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2013 at 01:16
Hi Ann,

I would have replied to you sooner but wanted to make sure that anything I had to say was based on a clear understanding of your situation and for that I took some advice from some nurses on another website/email list I am associated with. I've copied the details into a word document so you can pick out the comments that make most sense to you. I will email this to you directly but I think it will be a good idea to summarize some of the thoughts for anyone else reading this post now or in the future. Obviously we were all in the position that we could only go by the information we had from your original post.

1. We all recommend that you seek professional advice/counselling and support. If you are a member of the RCN then they provide this as part of their membership package.

2. Past employers are not allowed to give bad references. They can refuse to give a reference. You can proactively approach the HR department of the Trust you want to work for to discuss the issues around end of your time on the District.
2a. You can use positive past performance on the District prior to having to move teams to contrast how the problems you faced contributed towards a few days of feeling unable to cope and unsupported. Plus the horrible experience you went through as a result of that.
2b. Identify what you learnt through the process of losing your belief in yourself as a nurse to rebuilding your confidence again demonstrated by your identification and confidence to challenge the management of the Nursing Home about their drugs management.

I hope you are able to find a positive outcome from this situation.

Please keep us updated but ensure you protect your identity.

Good luck,

Nigel

Edited by JFN Admin - 24 May 2013 at 01:18
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